Productivity Crisis: As Millennials and Gen Z Struggle to Afford Homes and Families, Businesses Struggle to Find Ways to Exploit Them
Did anyone ever like the pizza parties anyways?
In the shadow of Canada's glistening corporate towers, a silent crisis is unfolding. It's a tale of two very different struggles: on one side, Millennials and Generation Z grapple with the daunting realities of unaffordable housing and the complexities of starting families; on the other, businesses are left scratching their heads, trying to navigate a landscape where traditional levers of employee ‘motivation’ are crumbling away.
Enter the scene, Alex Jordan, a fabricated yet strikingly representative figure of the corporate hiring elite, who with a sparkle in his eye and a perfectly brewed latte in hand, sheds light on the comedic yet stark reality facing Corporate Canada.
“The good old days of employee motivation were straightforward,” Jordan reminisces, setting the stage for a narrative that feels both familiar and increasingly out of touch. “We had Derrick, who was perpetually on the verge of a nervous breakdown over his mortgage rates which jumped by 4.5%, and Sarah, who juggled work deadlines with the herculean task of feeding two kids as a single parent. These were our stars, motivated by the very real fear of not making ends meet. But what happens when the next generation enters the workforce with different fears, different motivations, and fundamentally different economic realities?”
Jordan's tone turns contemplative. "Derrick and Sarah represented the ideal we built our corporate strategies around. Their circumstances, dire as they may seem, made them the cogs that kept our corporate machine running smoothly. But now, we're faced with a generation that doesn't fit this mold."
Jordan’s narrative captures the essence of a burgeoning productivity crisis. “Millennials and Gen Z are facing a world where the traditional markers of adult life—owning a home, starting a family—are not just milestones but mirages on the horizon. They’re battling climate change, systemic inequalities, and a job market that resembles a game of musical chairs, except half the chairs are on fire - and we lit them on fire”
The twist, however, isn’t just in their plight but in how it leaves businesses at a loss. “Here’s our dilemma,” Jordan elaborates with a chuckle that echoes around the empty expanses of the executive lounge. “How do you exploit—ahem, I mean, motivate—a workforce that doesn’t respond to the same incentives? Gen Z isn’t lying awake at night worrying about mortgage rates because they simply know they’ll never afford one in the first place”
The irony isn’t lost on Jordan as he delves deeper into the conundrum. “We’re trying to inject that old office buzz, the hustle and bustle driven by the pursuit of the Canadian Dream. But it’s hard when half your workforce is wondering whether that dream is even achievable, or worth the cost.”
Continuing from where Jordan left off, his tone takes on a note of exasperation mixed with incredulity. “We’re throwing everything at them—pizza parties, mandatory 'team-building' retreats in the middle of nowhere, even bringing back the dreaded five-day office commute so they can’t spend as much time with their beloved dogs. We thought these tried-and-true tactics would spark some of that old-school motivation.”
Jordan shakes his head, the absurdity of the situation not lost on him. “And would you believe it? None of it's working. It’s as if demanding they spend less time in their comfortable homes and more time in traffic isn’t the incentive we thought it would be. We even tried to spice up the office with a foosball table nobody asked for, and yet, productivity remains a puzzle.”
He leans back, the faintest smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. “It’s almost as if—bear with me here—forcing employees into situations that make their lives objectively more miserable isn’t the golden ticket to productivity we assumed it was. Who could have guessed that in a world where Millennials and Gen Z are juggling existential crises, the allure of a free slice of pepperoni pizza in exchange for their soul-crushing commute wouldn’t quite cut it?”
Jordan’s laughter now carries a hint of self-deprecation. “We’re at our wits' end. Here we are, trying to crack the code, deploying every outdated tactic in the book. Meanwhile, our attempts are met with eye rolls so potent, they could generate electricity. It’s a mystery why transforming the workplace into a less appealing version of their personal lives isn’t bringing about the employee engagement renaissance we envisioned.”
With a sigh, Jordan concludes, “Perhaps it’s time for a radical thought: maybe, just maybe, the key to motivating today’s workforce isn’t about reverting to strategies that amplify their daily grind. Maybe it’s not about pizza, or foosball tables, or the 'privilege' of commuting. Perhaps it’s about acknowledging the real issues at play—affordability, mental health, a sense of purpose—and addressing those instead. But what do I know? I’m just the guy still trying to figure out why the foosball table isn’t the employee magnet we thought it would be.”